Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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