I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
