If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
