plz talk dirty to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize