I need help removing her.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
