I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
