Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I forget how to act sober
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
