Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
