No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
