Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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