unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
