Just cropdusted the office
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
