well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
