ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
