honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think your dad took our porno
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
