I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i need some magic done to my vagina
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
