I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
