no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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