he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
