i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
