i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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