just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
