He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
