His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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