Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
