I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
