He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
