its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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