David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
