We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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