I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
