She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
