I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
