well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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