So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
