it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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