I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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