I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
