just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
