your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
