sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
