i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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