the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Pooping to opera.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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