piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need water and some morals
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
