That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
