I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize