yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
whose parrot is this?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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