Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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