I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
