Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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