I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
