jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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