im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we should paint friendship bongs
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