remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
