My hand turned me down
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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