As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
