I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
