My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
