I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
