So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
